guilty pleasures

I was waiting under my umbrella in the pouring rain a little earlier and had a crisis of conscience. Across the road from me I noticed a lady crouched on the ground. She had an umbrella but it was lying upside down on the pavement. She was getting drenched and rummaging in a bag. I was just deciding to go over the road an see if she was alright when I saw a cloud of what I thought was steam and it seemed from my limited view that she had just poured out a cup of hot beverage from a flask. She then stood up and I could see that she was not in distress at all, she had just lit a cigarette.

She picked up her umbrella (I was surprised it was not full of water) and staggered off along the road. I wondered why she was staggering and looked down at her feet. She was wearing 3 inch high wedge shoes, held on by just a single strap across her toes (a little like the shoe in the picture on the right). They were probably not the best shoes to be wearing in the rain, but they were letting her down very badly.

I imagine that normally friction would keep her feet in the correct part of the shoe, and that she had started wearing the shoes today in the bright sunshine with which the day began. However the soles of her feet were now wet and gravity was doing its thing. Her feet were sliding down the slope of the shoe and through the strap at the front so the front half of her feet were hanging over the front of the shoe and landing on the pavement. Every couple of steps she tried to rectify the problem but her feet kept slipping back down and through the front. To make things worse (and yes they could get worse!) she then decided to run, with her feet stuck through the front of the shoe.

I wanted to shout across the road to suggest that she simply take her shoes off, but did not do so for two reasons. One was cowardice – I did not know how she would react to the suggestion – the other was that I was trying hard not to laugh. I felt really bad for her that she was having such a bad time of it, but it all seemed so comical.

If you are that lady I do feel really bad for you and hope you got home safely and are now warm and dry. I am sorry that I found it so funny and had to lower my umbrella in front of my face in order that you would not be able to see my face.

Just after this an old man came out of the pub in front of which I was standing. He was wearing a camouflage hat, which only served to make him stand out in the street. As he emerged into the rain he grumbled audibly at the weather. I noticed that he had a walking stick on which he was leaning each time he took a step.

As he walked along he saw an empty cigarette packet lying on the pavement and, smooth as you like, he whacked it with his stick into the gutter. At this point I think he noticed me and looked at me triumphantly.

I was not sure how to respond. Should I have applauded enthusiastically? Should I have nodded nonchalantly at him to acknowledge his skill? I did nothing. I was bemused and simply managed the slightest of head movements and then a look away.

There are no obvious social conventions to cover either of these situations. No etiquette books will tell me what to do (despite the title of this book I saw on Amazon). I am left to decide what to do myself and then reflect on whether or not I did the right thing and feel guilty about finding one person’s rotten experiences funny and failing to acknowledge the joy of another.

Perhaps the Biblical etiquette helps – to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. It’s all about empathy – not just having it but expressing it.

If faced with the same situations again I would like to think I could have shouted some encouragement to the lady across the road (or even gone over and asked if she was alright) and could at least have managed a “good shot!” for the chap who hit the cigarette packet so successfully.