sarms (bible pomes)

 

B lieve it or not

Before most people were awake

Beside themselves with grief

Baffled about how they would move the stone

Bewildered about Friday

Bemused about the empty tomb

Bowled over by the angels*

Blurred vision through the tears

Blissful in recognition

Blessed by the impossible

Breathless with excitement

*Some later less reliable manuscripts include these words:

‘He’s Behind you’ chuckled the angel

‘Boo!’

 

still in secret?

He told me, “No one can enter the Kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit…”

He explained Scripture like no-one I have ever heard before.

He understood God.

He understood me.

I thought he was The One.

But he can’t be.

Look at what they have done to him.

He did not deserve that.

He never harmed anyone.

At least Joseph and I can give him a decent resting place.

That’s the least I can do for him.

(John 19:38-42)

Family Planning

I wasn’t planning an adoption

I already have enough children

One has just been torn from my grasp and ripped from my heart

Typical of him, though, to be thinking of me

Right at the end

In the midst of it all

I wasn’t planning an adoption

but I have just been adopted.

Water Work

Did it tickle? Was the water warm?

Was it relaxing, easing away the stress of the day?

Were they looking down in embarrassment?

Did anyone else wonder whether to say anything?

Did anyone else want to stop him?

It was so demeaning, so unbecoming, so degrading, so smelly,

None of them wanted to do it.

He definitely shouldn’t have been doing it.

Yet there he was, baptising their feet.

His feet had been anointed by that woman and they had been indignant.

Now he knelt in front of them, doing the menial servant-job.

The next day as they watched from afar as the nails were driven into his feet did any of them wish they had taken their turn to wash them for him?

Bully For You

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.

“The one I kiss is the man”

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.

“Are you the King of the Jews?”

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.

“I don’t *#@&%$ know the man!”

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.

“Prophesy – who hit you?”

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.

“I wash my hands of this man.”

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.

“Crucify him, crucify him.”

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.

“He saved others, but he can’t save himself.”

Nails and thorns may pierce my flesh but death can never hold me.

It is finished.

Crucify Hymns

Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

Not really. I mean, I knew it was happening and I did watch from a distance. But it wasn’t like I was wielding a hammer or holding the nails. What’s that? Well, yes I did join in with the crowd but then everybody does don’t they? You can’t blame me for that surely.

When I survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of Glory died

If you had seen a crucifixion you would recognise that crosses are not that wondrous. It might be all poetic and worshipful but crosses are cruel. They are designed to kill. And they are designed to kill slowly and painfully.

Man of Sorrows, wondrous name

He looks rather forlorn, alone, wretched. He doesn’t look like the King of the Jews. Was that a cruel joke? The crowd are calling him plenty of names but none of them are wondrous. Even one of the thieves crucified next to him has a mouthful of abuse to hurl. Yet Jesus has words of peace for his partner in crime.

Shine Jesus Shine

Where’s the sun gone? Why is it so dark, it’s the middle of the day? There was no solar eclipse forecast for today and it’s not that cloudy. What is going on at this godforsaken place? What does Jesus think is finished?

Two pomes written for BUGB’s Baptist Life on the theme of ‘Knowing Jesus’

Knowing Jesus, as we do
He’s gentle, meek and mild
Except when clearing religious market places.

Knowing Jesus, as we do
He’s a man of sorrows: acquainted with grief
Unless he’s telling funny stories to his friends.

Knowing Jesus, as we do
He’s a friend of sinners
Apart from those whitewashed religious hypocrites.

Knowing Jesus, as we do
He’s the stone the builders rejected
If you exclude the cheering crowds and women anointing his feet.

Knowing Jesus, as we do
He speaks what his Father tells him to say
Except when he’s silently doodling in the sand.

Knowing Jesus, as we do
He’s unconventionally unpredictable
Until we confine him in a doctrinally-sealed box.

“Knowing Jesus means more to me than anything else”
So tell your boss she’s garbage by comparison and see if she’s impressed
Tell your family they’re relatively rubbish and leave them feeling depressed
Announce that money is practically pointless and watch the bank manager’s face
Jump off the corporate success ladder and your colleagues will fight for your place
“Well, it’s more a figure of speech.”
“Isn’t it?”

Archeology
As Jesus was celebrated by the
Rabble along the road, the
Chief Priests complained:
“Hey Jesus!” they
Exclaimed
Over the
Loud shouts
Of joy praising
“You should shut them up!”
“Stones would shout
Praise if
Everyone else was silent.”
Answered Jesus,
Knowingly.
Smiling to himself.

[Guest pote: Thomas Lear, aged 6]

Shepherds throwing their smelly socks about
One night in Bethlem shepherds are throwing their socks about.
At the sheep.
Oh the Shepherds are singing the song:
“Let’s throw our socks about, oh let’s throw our socks about.”
The socks hit Bethlem, the socks hit the sheep,
The socks hit the trees, the socks hit angles (sic).
Oh the Shepherds are…
Soon Bethlem and the outside will be destroyed.
© 2000 Thomas James Lear

Having run from the hills as fast as they were able,
What did the shepherds expect to find in the draughty stable?
And when they went back to the sheep were they very happy –
To have been the first people to see God in a nappy?

Personal Problems
When I think of my God in agony on the cross
I blame Pilate –
You just can’t wash your hands of that, buddy.

When I look at the smoking gun in my hand and the corpse at my feet
I blame the manufacturers,
the government and the police.

When I enjoy watching the images of depravity and destruction on my television
I blame the censors
and those who project such things into my living room.

When I lie and cheat to save my own skin
I blame those
who forced me into the corner.

When I lie awake at night worrying about the effects of what I have done
I blame God
for giving me a conscience.
© 1995 Nick Lear

I hate mornings.
I hate the sounds
of life carrying on.
I hate the normality
of it all.
It’s the end
of my world
and no-one
has noticed.
And most of all
I hate the sound
of that
damned
wretched
cockerel.
© 1995 Nick Lear

If only
I’d kept my mouth shut – making promises he knew I wouldn’t keep.
If only
I’d kept my eyes open – instead of falling asleep.
If only
I’d kept my mouth shut – when they
accused me.
If only
I could stop the tears from flowing.
© 1995 Nick Lear

In the beginning…
God
Created
Everything
And it was good.
In the beginning…
God
Created
Humans
And it was good.
In the beginning…
God
Created
Free will
And it was good.
In the beginning…
God
Was rejected
By humans
And it was not good.
In the beginning…
God
Planned
His response
That was very good.

I have a little problem with something Jesus said.
It’s not that I think he’s wrong, more like a bit misled.
You see his mates asked him for help in their praying, then
Jesus started his teaching not with “if,” but “when.”
© Nick Lear 2000

God Sues

In the High Court today
A Writ was issued
By God.

He was claiming unspecified damages
for emotional distress
caused by Breach of Promise.

In the Particulars of claim millions of
broken promises were listed: all starting,
“God, if you will just help me…”

It was a class action
which was dismissed because there were
too many defendants.
© Nick Lear 2004

Moses lit the burning bush
by using ‘firelights’.
Joshua flattened Jericho
with the help of dynamite.
Israel crossed the Red Sea
in inflatable rubber boats.
And Joseph’s dazzling jacket
was an army surplus coat.

Elijah beat the prophets of Baal
with petrol and a match
‘Jonah and the whale’ concerns
a massive fishing catch.
The skyscraper of Babel
was built by chain gangs.
Manna was not from heaven but
was ready-mix meringue.

Solomon wasn’t really wise he’d
an encyclopaedia
David’s bashing of Goliath was
invented by the media!
The prophecies are all a hoax
they’ve been written ‘post hoc’.
And there was interior plumbing
when Moses hit the rock.

The feeding of the 5,000
was done by outside caterers,
Galilee was frozen over, so
Jesus was a skater-er.
Raising Jesus from the dead
was all special effects.
Any fool can tell you that
no-one resurrects!

© 1987 Nick Lear

In the beginning was the Word
but we refused to listen.
In the beginning was the Word
but we were illiterate.
In the beginning was the Word
but we misspelt him.
In the beginning was the Word
but we didn’t speak his language.
In the beginning was the Word
but we turned him into a sentence.
In the beginning was the Word
but we preferred our own words.
In the beginning was the Word
but we were into moving pictures.
In the beginning was the Word
but we changed the subject.
In the beginning was the Word
but we used him as an expletive.
In the beginning was the Word
but we queried his grammar.
In the beginning was the Word
but we put him in a PowerPoint presentation.
In the beginning was the Word
but we abbreviated him.
______
In the beginning was the Word
In the present is the Word
In the future will be the entire Dictionary
______
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘yes’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘come’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘fulfil’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘enjoy’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘radical’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘laugh’
In the beginning was the WordÄ
and the Word was ‘weep’Ä
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘wait’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘be’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘love’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘please’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘grow’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘willing’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘accept’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘participate’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ’empower’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘persevere’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘flourish’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘rebel’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘serve’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘yippee’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘here’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘yesterday’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘now’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘tomorrow’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘die’
In the beginning was the Word
and the Word was ‘live’

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