ring ring, ring ring

I have an interesting task ahead of me today. I have been asked to bless someone’s new ring. It’s not a wedding ring. I think it is a ring that they wear to bring them good luck. What to do? All sorts of theological issues are raised.

It reminds me of an occasion when I was on a two week hospital chaplaincy course. ‘Nev the Rev’ (the chaplain who was running the course) started off by telling us all about something that had happened to him. He had been walking down a ward, wearing his clerical collar (and other clothes!) when a lady called him over. She explained that she and her sister (the patient in bed) were Spiritualists and asked if Neville would pray for her.

Neville stopped his story and said, “What would you do?” He gave us a while to discuss the appropriate response. I should say at this point that all of us were theological students at Spurgeon’s College (Vicar Factory). We came up with all sorts of Bible verses, theological objections and different reasons why we should not pray for her.

Finally, when we had demonstrated our theological orthodoxy and exhausted our evangelical zeal, we asked Neville what he did.

He told us that he sat down with the sisters. He held their hands. And…

…

[tension builds]

…

… he prayed God’s blessing on them both.

Psssssshhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeee [sound of theological egos being punctured]

Of course that’s the right thing to have done! It’s the Jesus way of doing things.

So what I am going to do today? What would you do? What would Jesus do?

[leaves story dangling for dramatic effect and self-reflection]

Hospital-related story
A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. 

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she’s got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding by. She arrives in front of God and complains, “I thought you said I had another 30 years.” 

God replies, “I didn’t recognize you.”