password?

How do you cope when you forget a password for a website, a program or (worst of all) your computer? There are usually ways of finding it out, but sometimes you have to be a bit of a detective. Yesterday I was planning to send a blog entry for you by posting via email. But I could not remember the access code. I knew I had done it in the past, but this time it would not come back to me, and was not stored in my Blackberry.

In the end I had to admit defeat and wait until I got home to post my thoughts on the Learning at Work day yesterday.

I have a dread that someone people experience church like that. They don’t understand all that is going on, some of the language we use or even can’t work out where to sit and it’s as if they have not been given the password. If they persist and do some detective work they can eventually work it out. But coming to church should not be difficult.

I can remember being challenged by someone speaking on this subject to go to a betting shop and place a bet. He said that if you have never been to a betting shop before it will be as awkward and unusual as it is for people who step into a church for the first time. I have to admit I never have gone into a betting shop, but I can imagine how it would feel.

In 1990 Sally and I went to a new church. (It was a Baptist church, so any non-Baptists can breathe a self-righteous sigh of relief – it couldn’t have been your church. Could it?) We needed to leave fairly quickly afterwards so sat in the back pew. As the church filled up two elderly ladies came and sat on either side of us. It became obvious that we were in their seats because they started talking. To each other. Across us. Not even acknowledging us.

During the sermon one of them got out some fruit gums. They passed them across us to their friend. Not offering us one!

We left feeling completely unwelcomed and  excluded and never went back*.

In the evening we went to a different Baptist church and as the service was about the start the minister noticed us, came over and spoke to us, made sure we were welcomed and accepted. We stayed at that church for 4 years until we moved.

All of this fuels my dread that our church may cause people to feel unwelcome or uncomfortable. But it’s not just about being made welcome and shown your seat. It’s also about helping people to feel involved and integrate. It’s also about looking after those who have been with us for a long time and perhaps feel taken for granted or even that church has changed around them.

There are no short cuts. Just good relationships.

  New Year’s Resolutions for Internet Junkies 
       
      1. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 7 e-mail addresses. 
       
      2. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife. 
       
      3. I resolve to work with neglected children – my own. 
       
      4. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. 
       
      5. I resolve to back up my 10GB hard drive daily…well, once a week…okay, monthly then…or maybe… 
       
      6. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. 
       
      7. When I hear “Where do you want to go today?” I won’t reply “MS Tech Support.” 
       
      8. I will read the manual. 
       
      9. I will think of a password other than “password.” 
       
      10. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning.

*About 15 years later I went back to that church as an invited preacher and was pleased that the welcome was warmer and people were obviously included. (I didn’t tell them of my previous experience).