nukelearfishing

Tag: joke

  • corny joke

    I hope that you had a good Christmas. I hope that you found what you were hoping for – not just in a stocking, pillow case or under a tree, but in the friendships, family relationships and your relationship with God. A man went on a camping trip with his wife. He had been left…

  • a little joke on a day off

    A mother was struggling to keep her wriggly child quiet in church. She tried bribing the child with a promise of sweets but the child ignored her. She tried threatening the child with the naughty step when they got home but the child ignored her. In the end she tried reasoning and asked the child,…

  • lol, rotfl, or jars?*

    I went into a pub at lunchtime recently and was rather surprised when I went in there was nobody else there. The place was empty. I looked around and saw an old fashioned Space Invaders machine in the corner. I couldn’t resist so put the coins in and started defending the earth from the relentless…

  • light content

    I am feeling levitatious (in need of levity) and my funny bone is feeling ticklish. So today I offer you a joke. I have told it before, but it’s a good one, especially if you can put yourself into the story… A young girl was writing an essay for school and asked her father for help,…

  • theology from a joke?

    A while ago the website Ship of Fools ran a competition to find the funniest religious joke. This was the winner, from comedian Emo Philips: Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.  I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in…

  • Sunday morning’s postponed joke

    I usually begin my sermons with a joke. If nothing else it means people might be awake at the start of the sermon! This Sunday morning I had a joke ready but felt as we were going through the service that I should not start with a joke. So I didn’t. This is the postponed joke.…

  • firefighting

    When I was growing up there was a man who was famous for fighting oil rig fires. His name was Red Adair. On one occasion an oil well in Kuwait burst into flame and the alert went out: “Get Red Adair!” But Red Adair was fighting a fire in Texas and couldn’t help. The oil…

  • to be read as a voice-over from a classic detective movie

    [Sounds of a city at night echo in the background. Gentle saxophone music drifts atmospherically. Cue voice over in phony American accent.] My name is Nuke. Nuke Lear. it was late in the evening and I was already in bed. It was pouring down outside. There was a tap on the door. I turned it…