unseeing

blind monkeyDo you sometimes wish you could ‘unsee’ things? Do you wish that you could delete what you have seen in the same way that you can delete the viewing history in a browser?

As a boy I remember stumbling (!) across a small stash of items in the bottom of my parents’ wardrobe that were clearly intended to be Christmas presents. I was excited to have found them but later wished I hadn’t as it spoilt the surprise on the day.

After watching an emotion-wrenching and draining television programme a friend of mine commented that they wished they could unsee it. I saw the same programme and can empathise with that feeling.

Perhaps you were sent a letter or an email and, after reading it, you wish you hadn’t and could delete the memory of it from your brain.

At the heart of these things we often find an emotional response has become associated with the memory and when we recall the memory we recall and relive the emotion which makes the memory more difficult to cope with. I am sure psychologists and counsellors would help with the particularly traumatic ones, but what about all of the smaller things that you wish you could unsee? We can’t get therapy for everything!

In time (probably) the impact of the emotional reflex will diminish as the significance of the event fades. It may help to talk about it with someone who knows you well and whom you trust – asking them to help you get a fresh perspective on things.

But we can also use those things to help us to learn and grow as individuals:

I learnt that the joy of finding presents before they are given diminishes the excitement and surprise of receiving them and didn’t go rummaging stumbling in my parents’ wardrobe again.

My friend could decide not to watch any more of the programmes in that series, or perhaps to watch them at a time when they have the space and company to help them process what they saw.

Your memory of how you felt when reading that letter or email can help you think about the impact of messages you send and perhaps soften the approach.

You see what I mean?

This is not ground-breaking therapeutic news. We learn and grow by experience. It’s what people have been doing with ‘stuff’ since Thag got tummy ache after eating some dodgy berries.

But in our multimedia internet-dependent world do we sometimes forget to do the learning and growing as we click and tap from experience to experience? By reacting and splurging on social media almost as these things happen to us we may fail to give ourselves the space to process, reflect and think before responding.

Psalm 27 is attributed to David – the shepherd boy who became Israel’s most successful king. It’s clearly written at a time when he was under threat. He had taken the time to pause, reflect and respond to what was happening – perhaps writing the psalm was an ancient form of blogging – and these reflections led him to these gentle, final words: “Wait for the Lordbe strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

David had clearly learnt that rushing in with a response is not always the best way ahead, and to wait for God’s timing is best.

That’s something I hope I never forget and don’t want to unsee!

Be blessed, be a blessing

 

 

busy as a bee

beeWhy do we say that someone is busy as a bee? Surely it should be buzzy as a bee? Yes I know that these are very active and diligent in collecting pollen, but we don’t say that we are as busy as other insects who are equally active and diligent. And while I’m thinking about it why is it that the buzzier an insect is the less capable it is of flying out of an open window? Silent insects seem to have no problem flying back out the way they came in. But buzzy ones spend ages bashing their heads against a window right next door to the space through which they entered.

Today I have an extremely busy day. It might even be a minor miracle if I manage to get to all of the different activities on time, unflustered, and able to focus on the different aspects of all I have to do. The success or otherwise of this busy day will depend on the availability of parking spaces and the free movement of traffic to enable me to move between meetings with a minimum of stress.

Two brief thoughts occur to me as I contemplate today: the first is that the busier I am the more time I need to spend in prayerful reflection. This enables me to get things in the right perspective and recognise that I am not indispensable.

The second is that often I concentrate on the meetings/events and not what happens between them. But without the time, movement and activity between the meetings/events the meetings/events will not happen. God wants to be involved as much in the ‘down time’ as in the moments of activity. Indeed I can use the ‘down time’ to focus more on him than perhaps I’m able to do when I’m busy.

Be blessed, be a blessing