>Cosmetic surgery for cars


My car has been having cosmetic surgery. No, not bumper botox or silicone implants in the airbags, it has had a paint job. Around Christmas I managed to catch the corner of a wall with it as I was pulling out of a parking space and this left some deep scratches in the paintwork on the offside (right) rear door and beyond. Through a member of our church I found a man who does bodywork repairs in his own workshop and does so at a reasonable rate.

I left the car with him on Saturday and we collected it yesterday. He has done a great job. You can’t tell where the scrape was. Not only that but he washed the car thoroughly so that when I collected it it was gleaming, even in the rain.

The car repair reminded me of my theme from yesterday of how God deliberately chooses not to remember my sins that he has forgiven. It is as if it never happened. Of course I have to bear the human consequences of my actions and may need to apologise or make amends to those who are affected by what I do when I fall short of God’s ideal. But for God the repair is perfect. You would never know there had been anything wrong. We gleam again – good as new! That’s God’s grace at work: giving me what I can never earn and do not deserve because he loves me.

Some car repair humour:

Mechanic to customer: “I’m afraid I could not get the parts to repair your brakes, so I’ve made your horn louder.”

Customer: “My car is making a funny noise.”
Mechanic: “Can you describe it?”
Customer: “It is coming from under the bonnet and sounds like: ‘Please help me, please, please, please can ANYBODY help me?’
Mechanic: “Hmm, that sounds serious. It sounds like your engine is about to die.”
Customer: “Maybe, but it’s been getting quieter recently so perhaps it’s going away on its own.”

Customer (angrily): “Listen, when you installed this premium battery three months ago you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It has stopped working after only three months!”
Mechanic (horrified): “I’m very sorry,” he apologised. “I didn’t think your car would last that long.”

A man was having difficulty selling his ancient car. The car had over 300,000 miles on the clock and nobody was interested. He was chatting with his friend about the problem. His friend whispered behind his hand, “There is a way to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”

“That doesn’t matter,” replied the chap, “I just need to sell the car so I can get a better one.”

“Okay,” said his friend. “This is the address of a mate of mine. He owns a car repair business. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the clock on your car back to about 50,000 miles. Then you can sell your car with no problems.”

The following weekend, the man made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that he bumped into his friend again. “Hi! Have you sold your car yet?”

“No way,” replied the man, “Why would I want to sell a car that has only done 50,000 miles?”

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