The continuing observations of Mr QR Grenville-Stubbs:

Our new minister, the Reverend Philip Inneck-Tucker, has decided to introduce ‘All-Age Worship’ services  or, as I prefer to call them, ‘services with something to offend everyone’.  Last week’s was a good example of what I mean.

From the moment one of the young people started the service with, “Good morning Upson Downs!” as if he was at a stadium rock concert I knew we were in trouble.  When the young upstart introduced the ‘offering joke’ I nearly fell off my pew.  The children got in on the act with a ‘rap’ called: ‘Jesus is well wicked’, which left me speechless (which is not easy as you can imagine)!

The young Revd PI-T really went too far, however, by coming into the church drenched from head to toe, wearing rags, covered in seaweed and saying: “You’ll never guess what happened to me on my way here…”. He pretended to be Jonah and told us the story of how he had run away from God. But he wasn’t even wearing shoes, or sandals with socks!  How disrespectful is that?  He finished by telling us how God revealed to ‘Jonah’ how he shouldn’t have been grumpy when Nineveh was saved.  I’m sure he looked at me as we sang ‘Amazing Grace’ afterwards.

Of course the worst thing about these ‘All-Age Services’ is that so many new people are coming that I can’t be sure of sitting in my usual pew!